Craig's Blog of Destiny

Time for me to brag some….

About a week ago we had the privilege of going to see J’Neil perform as part of the Southridge High School Symphony and Band.  She played flute and piccolo and I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.  They have a tradition for their concerts of having students come out and perform individually during the time they switch up from the Orchestra to the Symphony or to the Band.  For this concert, J’Neil came out and played guitar and sang.

I was very proud.

She did very well, though she said she was nervous, she appeared quite comfortable, evening joking with the audience a little before she started playing (“can you hear me?”).  She performed “Little Wonders” and was just great.  Several people were compelled to tell me how good she sounded.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any audio or video of her performance, but several months ago I did record her singing Little Wonders.  It’s not great, not as well as she did at the concert, (she’ll probably point out right off that in this recording she’s not playing her twelve string) but you can get an idea of how she sounds here:

jneil little wonders

I had errands to run the other day that included a trip to the post office; a new post office, one that I hadn’t been to before.  There was  a short line, which I had to wait in for a few minutes, and while waiting I noticed this:

Yes, that is exactly what it looks like it is:  a rack of cards – birthday cards, anniversary cards, get well cards, friendship cards, thinking of you cards – all kinds of cards.  Right there.  At the post office.  Cards to mail to people right there at the post office.

I’ve tried about six different sentences to end the post with, none have felt adequate.  So, the concluding statement to this post is all yours.  Post suggestions in the comments, we’ll have a vote for a favorite.

If you haven’t read the last post, you’ll need to before you read this one.  You can read it by clicking here.

Ok, we thought we’d heard the last from Shane’s apparent girlfriend, but last night I had the following exchange, from a different number.

xxxxxxx905:
Hey shane this is katie briana’s sister!  I need to get her clothes back please quite playing games and text me back!

[I was pleased that katie seemed to use better language than briana]

Me:
Hi katie. As I tried and tried to tell briana last weekend, i’m not shane, i’m craig. I wish I could help you, but i’m really not shane.

xxxxxxx905:
Im sorry but im having hard time believing that because i got your number from someone else!  But if this is infact not shane then im sure you know who he is and have his number and i would really appreciate it f you could give it to me!!

Me: [at this point I sent a multi-media message with this picture attached; granted, not a great picture, but it is of me last night.  The subject line was “i’m really not shane, i’m craig”]
this is me.  i’m 53, I have 6 kids and 6 grandkids, i don’t drive a truck, i drive a bmw.  i don’t chill at the mall.  sometimes i play guitar, though i’m not much of a singer.  if you call me anytime, from any number, i’ll answer it “this is craig” because that is my name.

I haven’t heard back from either Katie or Briana.  I probably should have told them that I’ve had the number for about 12 years now, and I’m wishing I had told them that I don’t know Shane either; perhaps I’ll have a chance to later.

ADVISORY:  Although I’ve done some “bleeping,” what follows does contain some very salty language.

Early last Friday evening I received the following text message on my phone:
xxxxxxx299
Let’s chill

I didn’t recognize the number, so I ignored it, but about an hour later I got another text message from the same number:
xxxxxxx299
We’re by the mall

I didn’t hear anymore that night, so I figured whoever it was, they hooked up and all was good.  However, over the next two days I was fortunate enough to have the following text dialogue.

xxxxxxx299:
Oh man i left my F****ing bag in your truck pleaseeee bring it to me
Me:
While I may have liked to chill with you, at the mall, where you told me you were, since I didn’t, I’m sure I don’t have your bag in a truck that I also don’t have.
Me:
I’m pretty sure you have me confused with someone else.
xxxxxxx299:
hahahahaha stfu.  That seriously made absolutely no sense lay off the weed dogg.

I didn’t respond and a few minutes later…
xxxxxxx299
Boy you bess bring me my sh** later or you ain’t getting your sweats back : )

Again, I thought the best thing was to just not respond, and hoped they get their things straightened out.  However, a little after midnight that night (Saturday night) I got a voice mail message from them.  I won’t transcribe the message; suffice it to say that it seemed to come from what sounded like an inebriated young girl (with her friend laughing in the background) asking for her “accessories” back.  There was probably more profanity than there was non-profanity.  At the beginning of the message she addressed “Shane.”

She called again Sunday afternoon, didn’t leave a message, but did follow the phone call with an immediate text:

xxxxxxx299:
Are you at your house? I wanna come by and get my sh**
Me:
Sure come on over, bring pizza
xxxxxxx299:
haha shut up.   Wait where do you live?

I wondered then if I should once again say that I’m not who she thinks I am and was discussing with Kristin just how I should respond when this message came in:

xxxxxxx299:
Nigguhh where the F** do you live.
Me:
[at Kristin’s suggestion, I gave her the address for the police station in Kennewick]  211 west 6th ave in kennewick – if you won’t bring pizza, bring weed
xxxxxxx299:
haha your ridiculous i have neither, your sh** outta luck
Me:
So are you

So of course, the next thing, about ten minutes later, I get a phone call.  I’ll leave out the profanity.

Female voice: Man, where are you?
Me:  I’m at home
Female voice: I’m driving around here, I don’t know where you are
Me:  You know, I’m not Shane
Female voice:  [here I think she figured out what the address was for]  You made me drive all the way down here!!!!
Me:  I’m not Shane, you have the wrong number

She then hung up.

A few minutes later the texts started again:

xxxxxxx299:
I F****ing hate you.  [she always capitalized that word – nothing else consistently, but always that one]
Me:
Yes, but how do you feel about shane?
xxxxxxx299:
I’m gonna kick his ass.
Me:
U go girl

We really thought that she had figured things out and that that would be the end of it, but a few minutes later I got this text:

xxxxxxx299:
No but seriously i better get my F***ing sh** back, i need that stuff you don’t understand!  And umm i’m sorry to tell you but this is shane’s number bitch!  So shut the F*** up.
Me:
I’m sorry, it must be very frustrating to find this is not shane’s number, it’s my number (i’m craig).  i don’t chill at the mall, i don’t have your bag in my truck, i don’t even have a truck, you don’t have my sweats.  Either you wrote it down wrong or he gave you the wrong number.  Good luck.

I didn’t hear anymore from her, but the next afternoon I got a call from another number I didn’t recognize:

Me:  This is Craig [This is how I always answer my phone]
Female voice:  This is Craig?
Me:  Yes, this is Craig
Female voice:  This is Craig’s phone?
Me:  Yes, this is Craig’s phone

Then she hung up.

I haven’t heard any more.  I hope she gets her sh** back….

Three-point deduction for frayed butt: American Scott Lago might have won silver instead of bronze in the men’s halfpipe if only he had had presentable underwear.

I can’t help but  add:  “or pulled his pants up!”  His mother must be mortified.

I hope everyone enjoyed watching the game yesterday!  At our house we had lots of fun, except for the part where our cable went out and we had to go out to the car to listen in on the radio (most of half time and the third quarter).   Made things memorable though!

Overall we had thirteen different people win a total of nineteen candy bars.  Abby took the top spot, with three, while Ashley Rae, David, Marilynn and Randall all got two each.   Winnings are on their way!

FYI: the most requested candy this year was M&M’s, followed by Snickers and Twix.  Yet, with the winners there was quite a variety.  As you may expect, we’ll be sending out four M&M’s and three Snickers (four if you count the Snickers Almond along with them), but from there we’re all over the map.  We’re sending out a Reese’s, a Milky Way, a Baby Ruth, a Skittles, a Kit Kat, a Take Five, a 100 Grand, two Charleston Chews (chocolate) and two Butterfingers.

Click below to see the grid with winners highlighted and results.

Super Bowl 2010 Results

OK, here’s the grid for the Super Bowl Candy Pool!  We had great participation, 59 people responded with quite a variety of candy picks.  So, 41 got two squares each and 18 got 1 each.  Here’s the grid, click on either the picture or the link below for a printable pdf:

Super Bowl XLIV

Good Luck!

One of my favorite holiday movies is “Scrooged,” Bill Murray’s take on the classic story of Scrooge.   Those of you who’ve seen “Scrooged” will undoubtedly remember one of my favorite characters, Eliot Loudermilk, the employee that gets fired for telling Bill Murray that his offensive ad campaign really does suck.  Eliot is played by Bobcat Goldthwait.  Those of us of an older generation will remember Bobcat as a very, very offbeat stand up comedian.

Bobcat has moved from stand up and acting to directing, perhaps most notably on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” where he’s directed over 250 episodes.  He’s also directed some other television shows and a couple of his own movies, which I haven’t seen.  However, his most recent project, one that he both wrote and directed, “World’s Greatest Dad,” I recently watched vie Netflix.  This is a great movie.

The first few scenes of “World’s Greatest Dad” are pretty uncomfortable and a little difficult to watch.  The story is of a single father, Lance Clayton (Robin Williams) and his teenage son.  Lance is a high school poetry teacher, the son an insufferable jackass.  Really.  The son treats his father, and his own friends (or friend), about as bad as they could be treated.  The uncomfortable scenes culminate about a third of the way in with a dreadful tragedy, in a scene masterfully acted by Robin Williams.

From that point in the movie you find yourself not knowing whether you should laugh or cry.  I think I laughed more.  The story moves to Lance’s decisions and life after the tragedy and his eventual catharsis and epiphany which I think is so well captured in one of the narrated lines near the end of the movie:  “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”

I would rank this movie at least as good, and possibly better (I’ll decide after I watch it a second time) than “American Beauty,” which it reminds me of.  If you like those types of off-beat things, you’ll like “World’s Greatest Dad.”

This is an adult movie!  Not for kids!  In fact, I heard Bobcat himself say that he has no interest at all in entertaining kids or teens.  His audience is a mature audience.  So, to all you mature audiences out there, enjoy this film.

It’s time! Get your name in the 7th Annual Super Bowl Candy Pool!

Enjoy the Super Bowl and win candy bars all at the same time!! What more could you ask for?

Deadline for submission is midnight PST on Wednesday, February 3^rd. Keep in mind, however, that once the grid is full, no more entries will be accepted, so do not delay. The number of participants we have will determine how many squares each person will get, and if we have extra squares left over, they will be assigned to participants in the order we hear from you.

For those of you who are new this year to the Cottle Super Bowl Candy Pool, here is the rundown:

The object of this game is to win candy bars. To do this, you will be assigned a square on a grid which corresponds with a possible game score. If the numbers for your square match the game score, you win. Payouts are given on each score change and every score change is worth a candy bar regardless of how many times the score has changed during the quarter. This is similar to a common office pool with the following major exception: Participants don’t buy squares or send in any money. They just get the chance to win. Craig & Kristin supply the prizes.

To play, just send an email or comment on our blogs, telling us what your favorite candy bar is and you’ll be entered into the pool. If you’d like, you can send a couple of choices; in the event you are a lucky winner of multiple candy bars, you can have a variety. We will continue to take entries until the grid is full, or we reach the deadline, which ever comes first. Last year we had twelve different people winning a total of 20 candy bars. Everyone can play – kids too.

We love the Candy Bar Pool because it makes it fun to watch the game no matter which team wins. We’ll send out a grid showing everyone’s numbers as soon as it is full. Then watch Super Bowl XLIV and hope for a high scoring game, so we have lots of winners! We’re rooting for you!

The fine print:

How it works: The pool is displayed on a 10 x 10 grid with numbers along both the top and left side of the page. The top row of numbers represents one team and the side row represents the other team. Square assignments will be made randomly. Once the participants’ names are filled in, the numbers are drawn at random and placed left to right along the top of the grid, and top to bottom down the side of the grid.

Every score change is worth a candy bar, regardless of how many times the score has changed during the quarter, and the extra point after a touch down does count as a score change. The score at the end of each quarter, and the final game score are all worth an extra candy bar. So those who have the score at the end of each quarter will win at least 2 candy bars (maybe more, depending on what else has happened during that quarter).

Deadline for entry is midnight PST on Wednesday, February 3^rd. Once the grid is full, no more entries will be accepted regardless of the date. If this happens, an update will be posted on the blogs.

No submission of candy bars is required! All winning candy bars come from Craig & Kristin as a reward for participating in our pool.

What I’ve been listening to lately:

Michael recently sent me a recording of himself performing two of his songs, Open Road and Petrified

Open Road

Petrified

Michael is stoked because he will be playing again, on February 28th, at the Urban Lounge in Salt Lake.