Craig's Blog of Destiny

I recently asked Kristin about setting up a blog (which she has obviously done for me)…     It’s surprising to me how consistent the response is from various people when I bring up the idea; always a variation on “why?”  It’s made me evaluate the “why” of this particular idea more than I do most. 

Why indeed?  The answer I’ve have been giving has been “because I want to be published!”

I’ve never been particularly social, not feeling the compulsion to “interact” that seems to me to drive the human race.  In his excellent book Pastwatch Orson Scot Card has a short section that examines the social nature of humans and their tendency to group together and form communities: the social need of the species.  I’ve never really felt that, for so much of my life preferring my own company to that of just about anyone else.  The games I remember playing as a very young child in Ogden, Utah were solitary games, being by myself in imaginary worlds where I was the hero.  Growing up I found it easier to be by myself than to suffer the potential consequences of ridicule for some perceived misstep.  In my late teens I formulated my conviction that people are generally idiots (“I’m surrounded by morons!”).  I don’t believe I ever felt lonely, but definitely more comfortable with myself than with others.

However, as I’ve gotten older, and as I’ve grown emotionally, particularly over the last few years, I’ve noticed a strong desire to share.  While it remains a thrill to me to listen to great music, or to read a great book, or see a great movie, I am feeling a strong desire to share those things with those around me.  Surprisingly, I was so compelled recently to have Kristin read “The Time Travelers Wife” that I could hardly endure finishing it myself and getting her to read it.  I’m getting such a kick out of sending Sam some Led Zeppelin songs, playing my guitar along with J’Neil’s piano playing.  Obviously, I’m sharing with those people close to me, but I’m also sharing just for sharing sake:  playing the new Rush cd at the beginning of my management classes has way more to do with my desire to share than it does who it is I’m sharing with.  I realized with our most recent trip to Hawaii that I wanted to bring something from Hawaii to the guys in the band as a way of sharing my trip with them.  On a recent flight (my first to Alaska!), I was very aware of my sense of sharing the view with those around me as we flew over the cloud shrouded mountains around Anchorage.

That I’m feeling this desire to share out of the fact that my life is good is probably a subject for a whole other treatise – for here, we’ll just say my life is good these days.

So, the “I want to be published” assessment may still hold some water, but I’m starting a blog because I want to share.  Not sure exactly what I’ll be sharing, how often it’ll happen, or if what I share will have any sort of value, but I want to share…   something….  I hope you (whoever you are) find some value, but I’m doing it for myself and the value I receive from sticking myself out there.